Quantum Relativity
by Illisandria Carthain
Summary: The Universe is made up of dimension upon dimension, each branching out when a choice is made to a new possibility set, creating infinite possibilities. Peeks into many of these dimensions.  Ficlet collection. AU to slash.
1. Universe One: Why Me?

(A/N: This is a ficlet collection I am doing because I have time in the middle of everything else. I have to say I enjoy this fandom immensely. And to all the people out there who follow me and are all "What is she doing? I thought she said she wouldn't be writing anymore!" I said I wouldn't be writing as often, if at all. I do write fanfictions, just not as often as I used to (which was not very often to begin with) So you still can get your daily doses of 'Sandria, just not as often. Enjoy!)

Universe One: Why Me?  
(Bernard POV. Movie-verse.)

It was excruciating. One second I was glaring at someone who—I later found out—was Megamind: Evil Overlord himself. The next the universe shrunk up on me and my entire self, and the world, consisted of something the color of the cerulean family. Time was meaningless and suddenly I could see every aspect of my life all at once. It was...amazing. Boring after the first go, but rather amazing nonetheless. And then, out of nowhere, I was rehydrated.

The location of my glorious return to the world of everyday drudgery? A washing machine in the middle of the esteemed villain's evil lair—just lair at the time apparently, since he was the hero at this point—with the TOP DOWN, of all things!

Of all the indignities I had to endure at the moment, this was only topped by Minion, his talking fish-atop-a-gorilla-mech-suit, bludgeoning me aside the head with what appeared to be the famed "Forget-Me-Stick". I fell into blackness.

When I awoke, I found myself to be in a ratty apartment building with a note attached to my forehead. It read, and I quote it directly:

_Bernard,  
Quite sorry for dehydrating you and forgetting you in my pocket. That must have not been a lovely experience. Needless to say, I must also apologize for using your form to waltz around town as a normal human and date one Miss Roxanne Ritchi. You probably may get some odd stares for that._

_I am also sorry to say that you no longer have a job seeing as I blew MetroMan museum up. Heh...oops..._

_And your apartment rent, phone bill, and car insurance bill haven't been paid in the past three months (did I forget to mention I left you in my pockets for three months? No? Sorry...). Needless to say you are now squatting in what used to be your apartment. You have not a penny to your name and no car and your phone was trashed a while back, along with your glasses (I made you a new pair. You;'re blind, you know that?) so you have no possessions either._

_Do not despair! I, being Metro City's newest (and best) hero, have not abandoned you! I have left you with all the money I could scrounge up on such short notice and a walkie-talkie set to the most common frequency. Enjoy your life!  
Megamind  
(& minion)_

Of course. Murphy's law had struck yet again. I had—after looking in my pockets for the supposed cash Megamind had given me—exactly five ninety. Five bloody dollars and ninety bloody cents. What. The. Crap Megamind? I thought you were supposed to have loads of money!

But that's only my luck I suppose...Well I best be getting back to my now-ruined life. Onward to the best (worst) part: finding a new job. I just have one question for the supposed "hero".

Why me?

(A/N: This turned out different than I expected...and my Bernard seemed a little Shelldon-esque (from "Big Bang Theory"). Ah well...R&R lest Megamind dehydrate you and rehydrate you in his knickers while they are in the wash!)


	2. Universe Two: Good Girl

(A/N: As per request via Invader Johnny (didn't know you liked Megamind…huh…) here is another ficlet set in another universe. Enjoy)

ÜBER DISCLAIMER: This chapter contains reference to Invader Zim (owned by Viacom's Nickelodeon). I just wanted to say: 'Do not own!'

Universe Two: Good Girl  
(Megamind -centric. AU.)

Megamind sat up and stretched, listening for Roxanne's whines and yelps indicating that she needed to go out.

"Megamind you insensitive bugger!" Ah…there it was. "Unlock the door and let me go! I'm about to bloody wet myself!"

"Be there in a second Roxie-poo!" Megamind sang out sweetly and sat up, looking around for his holo-watch. It was resting on the bedside table with a note from Minion attached to it.

_Sir,  
You fell asleep with it on again. This time your hand was underneath you. You could've crushed it. Be more careful.  
Minion_

_P.S. I am making waffles with blueberries in them today. Hope you're hungry! ;P_

Megamind chuckled and slapped the watch on his wrist, activating it. In a blur he was no longer wearing his PJs, but was wearing his normal, everyday outfit. He stretched and grabbed the black leash hanging by his door.

"Walking Roxanne!" he shouted at the kitchen, as he walked towards her bedroom. Inside the room there could be heard the furious yelling of one Roxanne Ritchi, a very peeved human. He opened the door to find her waiting for him.

"Yaaaaaaaaagh!" she launched herself at him and proceeded to try to claw his eyes out. Luckily, one of the brainbots was always on standby in case this happened, and it zoomed forward and removed the offending human from their daddy's face. Long gouges ran across his high cheekbones and he was nursing one eye gingerly.

"Now, now Roxie…we wouldn't like a repeat of last time, would we? I will take you to the vet and she will fix you. I think you like your lady parts where they are, don't you?" Megamind smirked as he attached the leash to the spike-studded collar Roxanne was wearing around her neck. Then he snapped his fingers and the brainbot dropped her unceremoniously on the floor.

"Oof…" she grunted, "What the hell Megamind? And, for your information, I do NOT want to be fixed, thank-you-very-much." She turned her nose up at the blue-headed alien and growled viciously at the hovering brainbot. "Now, can we hurry this procession up? I have to pee like a mo-fo."

The duo walked towards the door, where Roxanne sat on the floor like a good girl and waited for her 'master' to open the front entrance. The door to the lair swung open and Megamind and Roxanne stepped out into the open.

All around them were aliens, multitudes of aliens, all holding a leash attached to a human or beckoning to a human standing behind or beside them. Megamind lifted one hand in greeting to an Irken, "Morning Zim!"

The insect-like alien twitched his antennae in a greeting and then turned his face back to his human, a tall teenage boy with a '7'-shaped cowlick on his head. "Dib!" he barked sharply, tugging on the leash he held in his hands, "don't do that! If you even attempt to try and escape ZIIIIIIIIIM, Zim will make sure that you never see the light of day again. Zim knows how much you _hyumans_ need your eyesight and he will gladly take that away from you!"

Dib snarled at Zim and then waved shyly at Roxanne who just nodded curtly back, "Dib."

Zim's defective robot (a SIR unit), GIR, ran out with HIS human, a purple-haired girl who was constantly scowling. GAZZY N I R GUNNA DO SUM FUN STUFFS! BAI!

Megamind and Roxanne continued their walk down the street and came across what Roxanne was looking for, a port-a-potty. "Finally!" Roxanne moaned in appreciation and went to go inside the portable toilet which was labeled 'For humans only' when she felt a jerk on her leash. She turned around to see Megamind waggling a finger at her.

"Uh huh huh…" he chided, "You know the rules. I have to go in with you…"

She blushed and glared at him, being the pet of an alien—especially an alien with an ego as big as his head—was tasking her patience. "O-okay then…"

"Good girl…" Megamind patted her on the head, "Good girl."

(A/N: This was a complete non-sequiter story. I don't even remember where I was going with it…If someone wants to pick this up they have my permission. Invader Johnny, here ya' go! One story where humans are like dogs and Roxanne is Megamind's pet. Odd, but done…)


	3. Universe Three: Duckface

(A/N: This one is a tad longer than the others and explores some little idea that anyone can borrow anytime they want. All of the Universes are for grabs if someone wants to expand it. Just credit me, kay?)

Universe Three: Duckface  
(Genderbender. Childhood story. AU)

Shiva sat and watched Roxanne braid Winona(Metro Girl)'s hair. It was unfair, she decided as she ran her spindly fingers over her bald, blue scalp, that they would be doing stuff with HAIR when she had none. So she wracked her large brain for something to do. _Hair...makeup...clothes...THAT'S IT!_

"Hey Roxie? You want to do something else?" she inquired of her friend.

Roxanne leapt up and nodded fervently, "Sure!" She scooted across the carpet to the other small, alien girl and leaned in close, waiting for the idea. "What're we gonna do?"

Winona pouted inwardly, it made her so mad that whenever she and Roxanne were doing something shiva had to jump in and suggest something else. And, of course, FAITHFUL Roxie had to agree with her. _Stupid blueberry-head..._ She didn't mean it, she loved Shiva because she was her friend, she was just a smidge jealous. "Yeah, what're we gunna do?"

"We're going to have...," _dramatic pause_, "A fashion show!" _Wait for applause._

The other two girls stared in astonishment, why didn't THEY think of it? Roxanne's mom WAS a fashion designer and Minion made some pretty neat clothes for Shiva since Mrs. Ritchi taught him what was fashionable and what was not, as well as how to design clothes and sew them. There would be plenty of things for them to wear!

Almost as if he had heard his name being thought Minion walked in, the gears of his slender mannequin-style, robotic body whirring. He nodded to the three girls and greeted them by name, "Hello young Miss, Miss Ritchi, Miss Scott.

"Hi Minion!" The girls chorused.

Shiva spoke first, "Hey Minion, do you possibly have any extra clothing, especially fashionable ones, we can use for a fashion show? Roxie, Winny, and I were hoping we could put one on."

Did he have clothes? Did he have CLOTHES? The piscine couldn't believe his ear-receptors. He loved his young miss but she had a preference in clothing, as young ones are wont to do, and seemed to think herself a winter when she really was a summer. So he had tons of clothes, especially period pieces, that were laying around in his closet just waiting to be worn. And all three girls were about the same size, for now, and so all the clothes would work. His mind began to whir with possibilities, _Miss Ritchi is an autumn so she'd look good in the Victorian-era gown, and Miss Scott was a spring so she'd look amazing in the sakura-patterned summer kimono, and young Miss would look nice in the warm colors of the hippie skirt-and-blouse combo... _He nodded and beckoned them to his closet. Time to get to work.  
(later)  
"And remember, you have to make the duckface..." Roxanne finished as Minion laced up the rest of her dress.

"Duckface? What is that?" Shiva asked, wriggling uncomfortably in the hemp blouse.

"Well the duckface is like this: you tilt your head down," Roxanne did so, her pointed chin aimed at the floor, "pout," she did so, "and bat your eyelashes as if to say, "I am amazing, yes?""

Winny suppressed the urge to laugh, she looked ridiculous.

Shiva thought so as well, "That looks absurd!" she exclaimed. A look of hurt flashed across Roxanne's face and she jumped in to save herself, "But I think it is what they do on the runway, you are really smart Roxie!"

Minion smiled and clapped his hands, "Okay girls, time to strut your stuff!" He hit a button on a boombox and violin music began to fill the room, just the right tempo for a runway but elegant enough for the pieces.

Winny gasped as she strutted out, the music was beautiful! She loved the violin and decided, right then and there, that is what she was going to do with her life, play violin.

Roxanne smiled and strutted out, the crimson dress swishing around her ankles. Her mother gasped as she filmed the entire thing. This is what I'm going to do, she thought, Be on camera. I like it.

Next was her adopted sister, Shiva. She strutted out and suddenly the uncomfortable clothing didn't matter anymore. She felt the eye of the camera on her and felt the clothing accent her frame and decided this is what SHE wanted to do with her life, model. Even if it meant making the duckface. EVERY TIME.

(A/N: I like this one...you? The idea of Megamind (Shiva) being a summer, Roxanne being an autumn, and Metro Man (Winny) being a spring came from me and my sister discussing fashion. I don;'t like fashion, I just like coming up with clothing ideas. Do you like? R&R!)


End file.
